“Do not be hasty in word or impulsive in thought to bring up a matter in the presence of God.” Ecclesiastes 5:2
Learning to lean into the changes required in each season can be a challenge, and getting to the space of accepting those new changes as a part of the new you can be even more difficult.
As an adult I’ve had to come to the understanding of identifying and recognizing the things that most impact how I navigate the world day to day. Before a few years ago, I never gave much thought to how my value system was shaped, or showed up in my decision making. It was a reflexive process I just went through. I would go through my entire day without much regard to the why’s or how’s of my decisions. At the time my thinking was mostly framed from the perspective that I was merely the subject of all the events in my day with no real “control” over what happened or existed.
Growing up, I’d always been told, “You can do whatever you set your mind to.” And for the most part, I believed that, but the challenges I faced, and the chaos I accepted (and even sometimes created) around myself skewed how I interpreted what I deserved vs. what I could decide. My understanding of the power of my choice changed during COVID.
It started small. Initially, it was about trying to just get through the day, being in the house with everyone 24 hours a day was becoming a strain on the nerves, and I could feel myself becoming increasingly irritable. But, after sitting with myself in my favorite hammock one weekend, I realized that there wasn’t anything outside of my control if I decided for it not to be. I could choose if I let people get on my nerves, I could choose to count down the minutes and hours or use my time productively, and I could even choose if I accepted the perspective of how scary the world was now or if I was going to let my faith be my anchor.
That weekend, my life changed. I fixed my mind on creating for myself what I wanted and needed. I wasn’t able to choose how my husband or kids spent their time or responded to the “new” state of the world or what other people thought or believed, but I was intentional about my own routine, mindset and practices.
I became really in tune with myself. I was a student of me. It manifested in ways that allowed me to learn so much about the ways I’d grown as a person, wife, and mom over the last 10 years. I started working out mostly by stretching and fasting. I took up gardening and learning to play the Ukulele, and I started writing again. I was so grateful to be in touch with the new me and what she could do!
Since that day I’ve applied my process and learned what really matters in my decision making process. I simply ASK. I ASK myself as a way to evaluate the cost and benefit of the decision I’m making in the moment.
ASKing gives me a chance to determine 3 key things:
A- Alignment: Does this reflect my truest values? Is what I believe about faith in the Living God, myself, or the best of others reflected if I use my effort and energy in this way?
S- Success: Does this set me up for success tomorrow (or down the line) and allow me to steward my resources in an effective way that I’m willing to be accountable for?
K- Keep moving. Does this decision keep me moving in a forward direction that is in alignment with my goals? How does this build and bless me?
I learned not to rush into the decision making process. While it’s true that we make many instinctive decisions in a day, most of the decisions that will leave us feeling fulfilled when our day is done require only that we slow down and ASK ourselves what most captures the truth of who we are and who we want to be. Give yourself permission to be patient as you do the work it takes to be the best YOU! Remember, your decisions are your power and help you create around yourself what you want and need.
