Who am I? There is no harder question to answer. We spend most of our lives trying to define and decide who we are. As we evolve into new roles and new seasons the answer can become elusive. Sometimes we get so caught up in everything and everyone else that we lose sight of meeting our own needs and being present for ourselves. Finding the right balance between who you need to be for yourself and embracing all the intersections of our roles is important can be a challenge. When we don’t acknowledge and honor ourselves we leave room for confusion, struggle and inner turmoil to cloud our vision and silence our truth.
So how do we honor ourselves in our roles and seasons? Honoring yourself starts with setting your center. Setting your center means taking a moment to understand and find what you need most or value for the season/role you’re in. For example, if you’ve just started a new job or taken a new position at work, setting your center could look like making a list of priorities/goals based on your job description that capture your strengths, setting reminders on your phone or calendar so that you don’t work past your break of off time, taking time to reread your job description to make sure you fully understand what you’re responsible for so you don’t take on more than what’s necessary. This could also look like going to lunch with new coworkers or having a meeting with your boss so that you have an opportunity to ask the questions that give you clarity around what you need.
Sometimes when we enter into a new season or space we don’t give ourselves permission to ask and advocate for what we need, and later we end up feeling uncertain or overwhelmed by what we’ve taken on. Asking questions that reflect your values gives you a chance to gain clarity and decide how to respond and navigate your role or season for the best use of your time, talent, energy or resources. Asking questions also ensures you have a chance to advocate for yourself. When you ask a question the response you receive determines how you decide to navigate; this is how you also free yourself from the burden of misaligned expectations and mistruths. Advocating for yourself is simply establishing a boundary based on what you need to best navigate a space.
We are called to advocate for ourselves in scripture by setting and acknowledging boundaries. When we establish where we stand or what we need to be the best version of ourselves it benefits us and others and the Lord God recognizes that. Psalm 16:5-8 says the lines/boundaries have fallen in pleasant places for me, and in Psalm 147:14 it says the Lord sets peace in our borders. Being clear and set about how we honor ourselves and reflect the goodness we deserve brings peace. Think about it this way, we know that there are laws to driving; speed limits, right of way and even traffic lights are fixed and required understandings in order to drive. If you or I choose not to abide by or acknowledge them then there are consequences. It’s the same for us, when we set boundaries to honor ourselves we give both ourselves and others the opportunity to understand how to engage with us righteously and when they don’t the Lord steps in to defend us and bring justice.
Setting your center early on, and checking in with yourself to make sure that you’re getting what you need based on your boundaries is important. Take a moment today to check in and see is there a place in your life where you haven’t set a boundary and need to? This usually reveals itself through feelings of injustice, frustration or sometimes even resentment. If you’re feeling these towards a person or situation you always have the ability to correct it and move forward. The first step is to stop and see if you understood what you needed, and if you asked any questions that reflected your values/needs? After you understand the truth in the situation, let that truth become your prayer to the Most High, and let it guide how you move forward in freedom to be what you need for yourself first and then share the goodness you give yourself with others.
Lord God of Truth and Justice,
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to understand and see myself the way you see me. I desire to honor myself which brings your glory because I am made wonderfully in your image and a reflection of your perfection. I have struggled in the past to set boundaries that are centered in truth and what I know is righteous so that I can be good to myself. Father God, I want to love myself wholly and I ask that you would give me the opportunity to set my center in a way that aligns my values with truth and love so that in my roles and communication people see you and understand who I am according to your purpose for me. I accept the understanding and commit to operating with knowledge that I must set boundaries and when I do you will bring peace within my borders and let my boundaries be pleasant places for my good and your glory. Fill me with your divine truth and let me be made new daily in you. I thank you for the blood covenant and resurrection of your Son that redeems me, and has made a way for me to be redeemed and saved by His grace. In the name of your Son, Jesus, I pray.
Amen.
